Hit The Jack Pot
by c0ld handz
Summary: Rhys thought he was going to have a nice get together with his friends. Turns out the universe decided to screw him over. Literally.
1. Chapter 1

"Handsome Jack: Sweetheart, you're cute and all, but that trait is not going to stay with ya for as long as you would like in about five seconds if you don't admit what we talked about copyrighted material first.

"Me: I know I know. I can't be allowed into the gaming system room. No, I don't own Tales From The Borderlands. That lovely right goes to the designers Randy Pitchford and Mark Darin.

"Handsome Jack: Atta Girl! *reaches out to pat head*

"Me: *huffs*

Summary:

Rhys thought he was going to have a nice get together with his friends. Turns out the universe decided to screw him over. Literally.

Chapter 1- Morning Shenanigans

There were many things that an individual could count on in a corporate workspace. The soft continuous sounds of typing on keyboards, the buzzing of reverent lights on their constantly depleting oil, and the paper that shuffled words across the air whispering of gossip about higher-ups on the ladder. These actions found themselves paused in the office on the left side of the hallway where a plaque stated the words "Head Security Department Manager: Rhys".

Behind the metal doors that created the entryway to the office, lay the backdrop of the vastness of Elpis through the use of a large scale window. It's unexplained fire flares and speckling of stars brightening up the room along with the current standard lights put to use when it's owner entered. The oriel which painted the office in a soft atmospheric glow began at the end of the metal walls linking both side's corners behind the desk where a computer was humming away under the fingers of the head manager.

The man himself was donned in his clearly unique business getup. Consisting of his Hyperion standard vest, the white collared turquoise shirt that contained a left side of vertical lines which matched the point closest to his neck, and the obscenely red tie separating the shirt from its odd counterpart by being shoved into the darkness of his pants. His plain gray and right one-sided turquoise striped pants with the even and polished moleskin shoes were used to complete the ensemble of horrible decisions. However the most prominent variation of his physical attributes seemed to think of time as a mere suggestion compared to the rates at which it moved. His robotic, yellow and black arm rested with the crook of his elbow along the desk while his fingers maintained the momentum of a speeding truck. The iridescent blue from his echo eye illuminated the workspace more than the man actually required while contrasting with his natural brown one on the other side.

The man was midway to finishing a command code when the throbbing of his head decided to conjoin through his eyes. He sighed to himself as his flesh hand was brought up to hide his face from the offensive screen and run nervous fingers through gel riddled hair.

After dealing with Vazquez monitoring his every move for fault, the presentation for the project he was currently working on that determined which of them would be able to quadruple their pay grade, and sucking up to Henderson for three consecutive years, he was exhausted to say the least. Yet here he was, going through four weeks of constant arguments corresponding with misconceptions from morons that called themselves scientists working on the prototype firewall. Not only had they sent a failed report, but mangled the code commands he created to the point of unrecognition at least seven times within the day of revision. Rhys may have been promoted to middle management, but that did not mean he particularly loved his job.

Sure he enjoyed the perks. Having people working on code that was based off of his own design, the increased pay and obtaining the ability to randomly check in with his old coworkers a bit more often felt liberating.

However the fact remained that some people's incompetence with their own jobs proved to be quite aggravating.

Beeping resounded in the office for a solid point two seconds before Rhys gained enough mental capacity to turn his right wrist towards his face, palm upright and answer his echo.

"Hey bro, wanna go to the new bar they opened up later today? It's on the corner between pain and misery. I think it's got a color in the name... Was it red? Anyways, I heard some good things about their Martini's and vodka."

Rhys smiled at Vaughn's suggestion.

"Yeah man. I think you're talking about the Purple Skag. I remember something about this guy named August owning it. Been dealing with some problems in the revision department lately. I know I'm gonna need something to help keep me sane. How does seven sound? We can meet up outside the building."

"Awesome bro I'll see you then. Oh yeah, still coming to lunch right? Yvette said she's buying. Miracles do happen."

"Now that, I wouldn't miss that even if I was on my death bed."

"Good to hear-"

Rhys winced apologetically towards Vaughn as muffled mechanical noises and cursing chose to interrupt his friend from behind his office doors.

"Well gotta go, seems they need more help than I accounted for. Ha. Get it?"

Vaughn rolled his eyes and gave his friend a small smile.

"Yeah, yeah, go save those people from their own idiocy why don't ya? I'll see you later."

Once the screen dispersed into his echo, Rhys' eyes focused on the clock.

10:24am.

Well. This was proving to be a longer day than he was expecting. He huffed as he got up and walked to the now open office doors.

It's been hard to surprise him since he became accustomed to the daily screaming, knife fighting, blackmailing and bribing that ran Hyperion. Needless to say, the sight of an ornery Handsome Jack making an appearance to deal with the mess that had accumulated outside his door was more than adequate to place him in a state of shock.

Jack had a glint in his eyes and an upturned sneer on his face when he yelled at the "incompetent piece of skag scrap who had managed to cause the fourth or fifth malfunction of the day."

It was common knowledge that Jack savored sadistic glee when watching the fear amass in his subordinates' eyes. But to be the receiver of his rage and live to tell the tale was as rare as finding a hundred dollar bill on the street. Not impossible, but rarely achieved. Very few actually came around to letting the story be known, lest it be overheard by the man and encourage him to do more damage to those anxious souls. Not to mention the people that have already had the unpleasant experience of a lost limb courtesy of the CEO while being forced to explain the mishap which led to such events in the first place.

It seemed that luck had no favors for Rhys as one of the new interns managed to be the last mentally inept of the day that Jack seemed to be able to handle without the want of killing someone overpowering his sense of judgement. The new worker directed his finger towards Rhys when Jack asked, "Who was the idiot that is supposed to be keeping tabs on you anyways?"

Rhys, not for the first time that day became perplexed at the apparent misleading liability that consisted of the workers below him.

Jack lifted his laser arm gun threateningly when the the younger worker aimed to take a step back.

"Do it and it'll be the last time you take a step using that leg." Jack growled.

The worker gulped and chanced a glance in irresolute worry towards Rhys.

"B-But sir," the employee began nervously eyeing Rhys' direction.

Rhys let out a scoff.

Now the amateur thought he would help after being thrown under the metaphysical bus? The fact that the intern saw that as a moment to argue only confirmed the idiocy that contaminated the halls and obliviously shattered all of Jack's patience as he shot the younger worker in the knee.

"Not done with you yet cupcake. Don't move again." Jack hummed absentmindedly.

If Rhys could remember words other than the current obscenities filling his head, he would have used them. As it was he could merely look on in disbelief. He flinched with the sound of the intern's scream who had dropped to the floor quickly and pulled their working leg into the shell of their body. Leaving the now injured one laying prone in front of them.

Handsome Jack took in the slightly altered patches of suit that the intern was adorned in. The employee was clearly attempting to imitate the style of the CEO who had then glanced at Rhys before shooting an unimpressed look at the short whimpering of the bleeding subordinate beside him.

"You know, you got a nice style there cupcake. It's exactly what you're supposed to wear when you need to look the part. But you should face it. Not gonna get better than the real thing right in front of ya, huh? I mean c'mon I'm not called Handsome Jack for nothing. Although, if you don't shut up I'm not going to be nearly as ambient in the next two seconds."

When it became clear to the crippled employee that Jack was referring to their sounds they sealed a hand on top of their mouth to keep themselves quiet.

Jack's malicious smile only seemed to increase with the amount of fidgeting that the newcomer was doing. Seeming to forgo his promise in favor of humiliation, the CEO squat down to the younger's eye-level.

"Actually, I have a better idea. What was an amateur like you doing in the testing room anyways? Care to explain to me?"

"W-was sent t-there to-ah! G-give..."

Jack sighed.

"I haven't got all day kiddo and neither do you judging by how much blood you're spewing on the floor. Might want to answer quickly and you'll hurt a little less, hm?"

That seemed to be all the prompting the stuttering apprentice needed as they lurched forwards to gasp out, "corrected code information" before beginning to whimper louder than before from the abrupt shift in position.

"Thanks sweet cheeks that's all I needed to know. Wasn't too hard now was it?" Jack replied with a mocking tone.

When the rookie didn't reply, instead curling in on themselves further, Jack's smile became manic and he shot them in the head. Their viscera and blood flying out onto the wall behind them with some coating Jack's mask including his suit.

A bit of it actually achieved the task of tainting Rhys' shoes and the bottom of his pants. If Rhys was uneasy about the rumors of what Handsome Jack did to those who angered him before, he was petrified now. Had the business hallway not been crowded prior to Jack killing the newbie, then Rhys would not have thought such a large space could feel so small.

"Kept my promise didn't I cupcake? Not nearly as painful as ripping out your leg and making you watch your blood flow through the metal floorings. Pretty heroic ain't I?" Jack whispered to the now despondent corpse below him.

"Inadequate lackeys the lot of them" Jack muttered to himself while kicking the cooling body on the floor with distaste. Once a few moments passed, Jack looked back up in Rhys' direction.

Rhys' heart almost failed him when their eyes met.

"So, what exactly made dum dum behind me seem capable enough of taking matters into his own hands when it comes to the basis of what we do here?" Jack asked each word becoming louder in volume and deeper in angered tones.

Rhys swallowed.

How did the newbie get in the lab rooms anyways? They don't normally send interns into the testing labs. That is reserved for the higher-ups. Management like Rhys, scientists working on the blasted thing, and Jack himself. The person who was in charge of employing new interns was...

Rhys' panic morphed into a vicious smile as he replied, "Not my jurisdiction sir. Why don't you ask the person who is in charge of the intern emails? Vasquez is his name? I certainly didn't receive one saying that I even had an intern to look after today"

Rhys attempted to make himself appear as the epitome of calm while pulling his echo out to give proof to the angered man at the same time as envisioning 'Assquez's' downfall. He could feel himself failing as his lips curved into something more vicious than a smile.

Jack's eyes grazed Rhys' face and shone with a different type of approval instead of its previously malevolent one. However the slight variation of thought went unnoticed by the younger programmer and he fidgeted nervously. His flesh hand coming to up to press back his already slicked up hair.

"Thanks kitten. You seem to be the more competent of these pathetic workers. Mind showing me the way?" Jack demanded while placing his gun back into the jacket pocket of his attire.

Rhys pushed aside the less decent thoughts those words brought up and ignored the burning sensation that encased his ears at the nickname, in favor of not losing one of the things he valued the most. Not to mention the bliss he would retain from being able to witness his arch nemesis flail to amend his image with Jack once this fiasco was over. That was, if Vazquez even made it through the whole incident alive.

"Of course sir. Thank you. If you'll follow me." Rhys stated as he turned on his heels to the right and promptly made his way down the hall towards Vazquez's office doors.

The day had started slow for Rhys, but he found he was indifferent to its pace once it threw a wrench in another person's plans. In fact he was almost giddy with excitement. Had it been any other employee on Helios, Rhys perhaps wouldn't have even bothered with the pretense of being calm on the outside. His hands were shaking though. His steps fast. Thoughts even more so.

Vengeance, and by the hands of Handsome Jack himself. Rhys couldn't think of a better way to knock Vazquez's ego down a few notches.

That man deserved it after the nights Rhys was put through. And Rhys didn't even have to lift a finger. His boss would do it for him.

He really hoped he didn't look as pleased as he felt.


	2. Chapter 2

**Handsome Jack: "Alright kiddo, you know the drill."**

 **Me: "I don't want to deal with a *cough*psycho*cough* sue rate that I cannot hope to afford in a million years and so I have to say that I do not own Tales From The Borderlands and that right goes to the designers Randy Pitchford and Mark Darin.**

 **Handsome Jack: "Good girl!"**

 **Summary: Jack has a lot to do. All the time. It gets to him. Especially when he is the only one who doesn't get to kill the sick morons he has to call employees.**

 **Notes: Sorry about the late update! I had to redo some of the plot line I originally planned for this fic. This is an ongoing operation on writing the chapters and I am not sure how constant I will be able to make the updates in the future.**

 **Subtle and Not-So-Subtle Death Threats courtesy of Jack being the promptus jerk that he is. A depiction of gore and we have the side ships coming in like a gun from a bullet. You'll understand once you read it.**

* * *

The meeting for the R&D department turned out to have many more deaths than Handsome Jack had accounted for. Especially since, for once, the act wasn't even sanctioned by him.

It had begun with the usual, "Alright brainiacs. Time to see if you've earned your pay grade."

And so he watched in glee as the whole room rushed about, the blur of white lab coats becoming the main distinguishing factor of people while they ran with looks mixed full of terror and anxiety both in attempts to please him so they could remove him from the room quicker.

When the rustling stopped, they were all aligned and holding various parts of the final product in order to demonstrate its' abilities.

He went through the normal checkups for the gun. Observing the muzzle, minding the power core for its' corrosive properties, the barrel, magazine release, the trigger and its' guard, including of course, the recoil spring.

It was when the assembling of the gun itself was to be done that the first malfunction of many throughout the day began.

Robert, the man whom he elected to cipher the specifics for the gun's special properties, had merely pressed the "connect" button when his bodyguard, Wilhelm, proved to need more help being protected from Jack himself than what he was hired for.

As the gun's separate pieces flew from his employees' hands to magnetically pull itself together, Wilhelm's shoulder mount flung outwards towards a nearby desk sending the equipment flying onto an unsuspecting analyst. Quickly following this action, Wilhelm's leg jerked itself in the direction of another researcher's groin and handed them a new bruise to that area of concern.

Jack watched in amusement until Robert got up from his seat, hands on the now-constructed weaponry to stand threateningly next to his massive escort who's robotic shoulder mount was formed into a gun that was shooting everyone in sight.

"WILHELM! WHAT ON BLOODY PANDORA ARE YOU DOING!?" His voice almost lost in the overwhelming screaming that the technicians were accumulating.

"I'm _not!_ Someone must have hacked my systems! The limbs are not responding!" The cyborg replied with his arm gun pointing far too closely towards one of Jack's main scientists.

Before the man could move out of the way, his head became an empty cavern of smoke and the smell of rotting flesh permeated the room.

"ALRIGHT ENOUGH!" Jack barked out, grabbing the nearest analyst and pulling them behind a table ensuring that Wilhelm's shot wouldn't reach them.

"EVERYONE GET TO THE DOOR. WILHELM. IF YOU MOVE AGAIN, YOU'RE GONNA LOSE THAT UPPER BODY STRENGTH FOR GOOD."

A round of bullets pierced the walls and several more traumatized employees. The accuracy was correct at least. Then again, Jack didn't really expect it to fail at such a mere ten to twenty feet away from it's target. Not counting the fact that Wilhelm's arm calibration was known to be the most reliable on Helios to boot. He made sure of that himself.

He let out an exasperated sigh. Not good to get distracted right now. Not while some of his most valuable little cooperate slaves were working away to achieve the highest, most improved cooperation award ranks in the entirety of the universe's weapon industries. Especially not when that gun was pointed in any direction near his own head.

Removing the firearm he always kept hidden under the holster and both layers of his shirt with his jacket, he found his target and aimed.

"WIILLHELLM. BUDDY, YOU GOTTA STOP THIS OR I'M NOT GOING TO HAVE A CHOICE BUT TO RIP YOU A NEW HOLE IN THAT PRETTY LITTLE SHOULDER ADDITION WE SPENT SO MUCH TIME ON."

"Would that I _could_ Jack, _nothing_ is working!"

Ten. A total of ten people had been shot and killed inside the now locked room for the Robotics and Diagnostics presentation. The bastard who made this happen has now guaranteed himself an airlock of his remaining intact body parts after several weeks of torture.

Something was moving in left peripheral near the 'eject into space' lever across the room. Turning, his eyes widened and he quickly lurched towards the person most responsible for Wilhelm's mechanical failure before they successfully destroyed one of the most important sectors of Helios along with everyone in the room.

Robert's agonized screaming as his hand was twisted away at an unnatural angle from the gun it held was quite exquisite.

He wanted to laugh at this inept traitor. Guns blazing is not the smartest move, even if it was one of his favorite ways to deal with bandits, but that's because they were dumb. He vaguely wondered if his stature of fear had downgraded so much that it encouraged his employees to assassinate him with this simple trick. If that was the case, he really would love to murder this one. It would only require the sharp turn of the bones in the neck, or a shot from the pistol he was currently holding. Either way would work. The only thing stopping him from doing so was that this piece of flesh was required to solve the mystery of which pathetic excuse of a human being had hired them to attempt at killing him this time. Or to find out if he had worked alone.

He huffed in frustration.

Killing them would be so much easier. Would even give them a more than fair deal, after how many other significant workers Jack had just lost to this fiasco.

Glaring at the perpetrator in front of him, he aimed behind himself and let two shots ring into the air.

* * *

The betrayer that had derangedly took the damn weapon up and fired point blank at everyone in the room was now sitting uncomfortably locked in custody before him.

He had watched behind the one-way window pane as the subordinate denied the responsibility of almost killing the company's highest assets.

Rolling his eyes at the insubordinate, Jack looked over towards camera three, where Wilhelm was currently being 'fixed' as his robotic limbs were seen being adjusted in the background.

"He messed you up Willy. Wanna make him realize just how much that is gonna cost him?" Jack had asked his bodyguard.

Wilhelm only nodded in response.

Jack's grin took a more sinister turn as he giddily said, "Remote's over to your right. Inside the drawer. Have fun. The screen will be up for the show in a moment. I'll be watching. Might even send in a certain someone to help you heal up those wounds yeah?"

The obvious discomfort from a doctor's prodding hand to Wilhelm's eye quickly dispersed to form one of exciting content at the sentence.

Jack smirked and ended the two-way call, leaving the camera to settle on a diagonal view of the room where Wilhelm was being kept instead.

He decided he could make this day a little better for Wilhelm if not for himself as he gave Timothy the go ahead to 'check on his body guard for any lingering bugs or trackers in his limbs.'

Little did his younger brother realize that the CEO _knew_ about the sparing looks he gave his cybernetic protector. Hopefully his twin would man up and actually take action in the interest he felt for Wilhelm.

However, the skillset difference of the two in terms of comprehending emotions? While Wilhelm was much less apt at the task of showing those feelings, he was more inclined for a better understanding of the nonverbal signs than Tim. It was one of the endearing qualities his brother had and became quite amusing to watch in the beginning where Jack had his suspicions confirmed by the one night that they made brownies to get wasted that led to the aftermath of Wilhelm's arms wrapped loosely around Tim's smaller frame. Ever since, Wilhelm's proximity caused his double's face to erupt into a brilliant blush.

He silently pat himself on the back for getting the two together for some bonding.

However, Jack decided enough was enough after months of watching this same reaction and his sibling needed a little push in the right direction. Hell, even Nisha agreed with him. Their bet on who would take initiative having been extended much farther than originally planned.

He would let them both interrogate the prisoner after a day or so. Helps with the intimidation technique. Particularly when said captive wouldn't be able to tell the difference between his face and his twin's when accompanied by a mask and six feet of muscle, machine, and vengeance to inspire fear.

Not to mention exactly how much more worn out the detainee would feel. After all, the closest way for said duo to learn about one another would be through the methods that they preferred to torture and heal repeatedly. Helps in the long run too. If one of them gets hurt then they knew how to take care of the other.

He already knew they had enough knowledge of how to fight, but a little practice never hurt.

"That bastard did _what_ to your cybernetics?!" Timothy's usually ardent voice creating an eerie likeness to Jack's own angered tone along the audio comm.

"Don't worry about it. I've had worse. Jack shot the shoulder mount and leg so that it would stop, and now you're here now so you can take care of any remaining glitches in the machinery... Even got me a nice movie to watch" Wilhelm soothed as his ears turned a soft pink in contrast to his nonchalant behavior while he pointed with the remote to the screen that held the view of their prisoner on it.

Tim's face softened for a split second at the display of trust set out for him and then it returned back to it's previous layer of concern, now somewhat muted in it's intensity.

Jack caught a few mutterings of "Gonna give that guy a new perspective of how it feels to be unable to control his own limbs. Self-compromise _his_ image. Try to kill _my brother_ _and him_ , with _that_ pathetic scheme?"

Their conversation seemed to have ended, and the video feed from Wilhelm's recovery firm now had a hurriedly bouncing Timothy, eyes scrunched up in worry while a slight blush spread across Wilhelm's cheeks.

His attention returned back to the now burning, ex-employee. His mouth opening on a silent scream as the bullet and sound proof glass prevented the echo from occurring. So, Wilhelm had decided to use that new addition first then…

The clanking of feet on metal outside the door alerted him to another person's presence far before they reached the hidden cove where Jack watched the traitor in custody.

A knock sent his head turning so that he could see the entrance behind him while keeping the window that depicted the prisoner in view. His smirk increasing as the convict inside winced while his wounds were healed quickly with a simple, but effective health hypo.

He nodded to the Hyperion guards standing in the entryway and they opened the door to an intern shuffling various papers nervously in their hands.

Before the rookie could speak, his personal assistant, Meg stated, "You missed the meeting for Commerce around two hours ago and have ten minutes left until you're late for the meeting under the advertising of the new product. There are also at least several other things in need of your immediate attention which I have been trying to tell you for the past hour, sir," over the com speakers.

Jack internally groaned.

"Meg, _sweetheart_. We are in the middle of interrogating the man that was hired to take care of the new model since he just attempted to _murder_ all of the people _including myself_ in the room with him. _During_ the meeting for R &D to see how the encoding was going. You'll have to excuse me for being busy saving this company's ass."

"Right sir. _My apologies_. I had simply been trying to get your attention for the past hour because you _did not_ contact me about the situation. In which I would have assuredly helped. Of course, I merely figured that you would like to see _exactly_ where your presence was mandatory."

"You know, I'm detecting a _few_ implications there Meg. And let me tell you, I am _not_ in the mood for _any_ nonsense after the morning I have had. We're gonna have to cancel that advertising 'meeting' for me as well. And the following ones on the product. There's no telling what this man did with the original layout or coded into the ones he was assigned to work on. Go to next week's appointments and see what's open. I figure a quick check in on the other departments will be good to keep them on their toes. Don't you?"

"O-oh of course sir. I'll get on that right away."

"Good girl. Now, just tell me where I'm needed next, yeah?"

The frantic clicks heard in the background made Jack smile. At least she had the sense to be afraid of implying that he was purposely late for any meeting concerning the company's future.

The intern nervously eyed the CEO as they fidgeted in the doorway.

"Well, cupcake? I don't have all day, let Daddy know so he can take care of it!"

Though Jack's words were meant for the intern before him, Meg's stuttering voice entered the air once more with a diligent, "S-sir! You're actually thirty minutes late for your third rescheduled meeting with Cybersecurity. Sorry for the late notice, but since your most recent conflict went hand in hand with security, don't you think that we should check there first?"

"I knew there was a reason I kept you around. Not just a pretty face yeah Meg?"

"W-well, thank you, sir. But I must admit it was you who said a quick check in with the lower levels wouldn't hurt. There's been a sighting of the bandits that we were tracking in City Junction. The vault key search party has reported some missing gear from sector eight and the accountants are reporting that someone has stolen a significant amount of money from Hyperion's savings. Automated train station sixty-nine has been hacked by a bandit who is demanding information on the Eridium mines. In addition, there is a report of an explosion in the slag corrosion mines. Something about the firewall breaking from over harvesting."

He pinched the bridge of his nose as if doing so would stave off the headache forming there.

 _That train was his favorite one dammit!_

Sighing to himself, he replied in an agitated tone, "Alright Meg. Since I had to fight for the company's future during the time you were supposed to let me know all of this, I'm going to give you permission to live. But it's a _one time offer_ for today. Got it? If I do not hear about these types of events within the hour that they occur next time-I'm going to have to acquaint you with my dear friend the airlock. You're lucky you're cute. For now, I'm going to finish up here and then we can talk about the next plan of action. A newbie wants some attention."

The intercom signing off echoed in the room until the recruit realized that was their cue.

"S-sir I have been told to let you know that the Production Department requires your assistance as the new gun is not functioning properly. I-if you will pl-please foll-ow m-me."

The intern's speech faltering as Jack's face began to morph into one of anger.

"Well, it looks like I will have to tell those bimbos that we will not be working on the next product until further notice. Even though I did not give them permission to begin mass production. Good thing it's right across from the place that I _actually_ need to check in with."

They gestured with their left hand towards the deserted hallway. Then quickly turned to their side and walked down towards the Production Department.

Jack huffed in annoyance and replied, "Kiddo, you're real sweet and all for leading me, but I built this place. You think I have no idea where exactly the departments are? And didn't you say you were a messenger? Don't you have somewhere else to be right now?"

The newcomer tilted their head and nodded in acknowledgement. "O-of course sir. I merely must go back with you myself s-since I am also directly involved with the problem."

"Hold up. Are you telling me that you are a part of the reason this functionality error occurred?"

"N-No sir! I am talking about the performance of the machine being irrevocably broken by another intern."

Jack's mouth opened to reply when a short and erratic looking woman stumbled through the door which they had stopped at.

"Handsome Jack sir! Thank goodness. The recoil and trigger are not working. Even the strongest tester was not able to make the cartridge move from the place it had been assembled," The clearly 'dignified' scientist who had barged into him on entry stated while looking at her tester in hopes of alleviation from the scowl that Jack now felt spreading along his face.

Before he was able to get a word in, the tester currently in possession of the new product attempted to pull the trigger again causing nothing more than a grunt of pain and a sweat filled brow.

Jack guffawed at the pathetic display and replied, "Sweetheart, I know I'm handsome, just let me _inside_ so that I can help first before you jump my bones alright? And pretty sure none of you got the memo, based on the fact that you actually continued this without waiting for my personal okay, but we are putting this production on hold for now since there were _complications_ with the first meeting on it's assembly with R &D. So I honestly would _love_ to hear from the person who thought they were doing _anyone_ a favor by keeping this in motion. Of course, I could just airlock the people who took direct involvement with this decision to continue the product without supervision of my warranty."

To say that the whole room paled considerably at his accusation, would be an understatement. Jack's eye roamed the room awaiting an answer in the terror drenched atmosphere. That is until the newbie who accompanied him to the place looked right into the discarded firing point and muttered to themselves about a remote control they knew was installed in the test module.

"Oh, so that is what you meant by involved huh kid? Would you give me some enlightenment on _why_ you made a remote instead of following the original plans? You know, the one where the gun uses the universal connection to the echo system to ensure more use of the weapon and offer the company trillions of new customers?"

The novice's stumbling voice replied with, "W-well you see, sir there was another recruit in this production. A messenger who said they were sent by Robert was called down to help with the coding. They mentioned that the gun would run smoother by the use of the remote which Robert designed and gave us the information on how to code it. They are now currently standing-"

Before the intern could finish their sentence, a vibrating sound erupted from the gun behind them and moments later they were collapsed on the floor writhing from the pain of a fifty-thousand blot of the shock element.

When Jack's eyes went to follow the source, the weapon exploded in front of him.

Jack turned his head from the now despondent corpse before him on the ground and looked up to the surrounding people frozen in hopes to spot the person who triggered the attack.

" _ALRIGHT WHOEVER THE FUCK DID THAT IS GONNA LOSE THEIR PRIVILEGE OF LIVING!"_

Once Jack finished his sentence, he spotted a relatively new employee sneaking their way out of the office they were currently in. Unfortunately for them, Jack's eyes met theirs at that exact moment and they turned to bolt. Jack grabbed the arm of the now trembling worker and inhaled.

"I-I am sorry sir, I just remembered there was a reconnect button and the gun itself wasn't hooked up to the machine for it to work. I-I just thought-"

" _You do understand that this product determines the whole of Hyperion's future? You just murdered one of our valuable employees'! And for what? A guess!?"_

When the intern did not refute, Jack continued.

" _You put everyone else's lives in danger for doing that. You are the most incompetent piece of skag crap that managed to cause the fourth or fifth malfunction of the day! I don't have time for you to throw more problems in another department for your 'estimated guesses' so if you don't answer my next question, I will gladly fire you personally. Got it?!"_ Jack shouted while he followed the now cowering envoy in front of him outside the door and into the hallway.

The pupil was now nodding furiously, trembling where they stood, eyes dilated in fear and arms pulled up to their chest.

Jack smiled at the slowly crawling feeling of power that began at his spine from the sight.

 _Who's weak now Moxxi? All I see are idiots that can't fathom up from down in this establishment. Especially when you have an indecisive lover that can't figure out what the word, 'marriage' means._

"Who was the idiot that is supposed to be keeping tabs on you anyways?"

They pointed towards the right at a… cybernetics huh? _Matching_ echo eye _and_ port to go with it? Not bad. But with those upgrades, that employee would surely know if he was to actually take care of this pathetic worker. The echo eye was designed to make sure the updates on anything remotely Hyperion business related were seen _immediately_ and dealt with unless of course, he was taking horrible care of the mechanism. Which brought back the anger he was currently directing at the employee in front of him once more.

Frown slowly taking over at the step backward, he pulled his laser gun out and pointed it at the employee and raised his eyebrow as if to say ' _You need encouragement kiddo? Well. Don't you worry. Handsome Jack has plenty of that riight here for ya."_

The worker still had a sense of self-preservation left and hesitantly stepped back which only ignited his anger further. They flinched as he growled out, "Do it and it'll be the last time you take a step using that leg."

They had the audacity to gulp and _oh hello_ someone is distracted on an insignificant sideliner. Their eyes focused on someone to their right as they said, "B-but sir…"

He huffed. This nonsense was not getting him answers.

He shot the kid's knee and the lovely, _distressed_ sound they made as they fell almost made him feel better.

 _Kinda wish I did that to you too, balloon tits. Too bad I'm such a gentleman that I didn't._

"Not done with you yet cupcake. Don't move again." He added absentmindedly giddy with the prospect of finally getting to shot someone properly after almost a month.

 _Right. It's been over a month since she felt that I was too clingy. The bitch didn't know what she's missing out on._

The echoing scream from along the halls made it all the more enjoyable. He did a quick once over of the fallen employee and wanted to gag.

Could they be more obvious in their admiration for him? But for a follower to bluntly ignore his commands when he supposedly cared enough to imitate his wardrobe unseen? That just wouldn't do. He spared a glance in the direction of the disarmingly interesting employee with the echo arm to convey his exasperation in a sentence when a whimper dragged his eyes back to the _pest_ sitting in front of him. His aggravation returns from its brief respite and he almost sighs.

"You know, you got a nice style there cupcake. It's exactly what you're supposed to wear when you need to look the part. But you should face it. Not gonna get better than the real thing right in front of ya, huh? I mean cmon I'm not called Handsome Jack for nothing. Although, if you don't shut up I'm not going to be nearly as ambient in the next two seconds."

The loud, mumbling, idiot finally _gets it_ and he feels light from the high he is getting from such a _lovely_ display of panic as their hand clamps over their mouth jerkily. Right. Keep on track now.

This 'messenger' had distinctly been covered in a guilty expression if he ever saw one. Judging by their cravenly run once the gun fired off, he pretty much knew the asshat didn't deserve his kinder nature. Especially after the day he had been having. However, he did need some proof instead of mere non-verbal actions that could be dignified with the reckless beating he wanted to give. That way he has at least one attractive cybernetic eye witness on the subject.

Though that was no way to condone such behavior. They had to be punished. Just the thought of dragging out their sad excuse of an existence only to watch as their face distorted in dread once they figured out they were going to be killed sounded marvelous. Ah yes, the _right_ type of stress reliever...

He bent down to the cowering employee's level and conversationally said, "Actually, I have a better idea. What was an amateur like you doing in the testing room anyways? Care to explain to me?"

"W-was sent t-there to-ah! G-give..."

He let a sigh escape his lips at the fumbling. He decided there was only so much he could put up without beating his seemingly useless employee in the head at their repetitive actions that never failed to annoy him.

"I haven't got all day kiddo and neither do you judging by how much blood you're spewing on the floor. Might want to answer quickly and you'll hurt a little less, hm?"

The apprentice lurched forwards to gasp out, "corrected code information" before proceeding to whimper louder than before from the sudden shift in position.

"Thanks, sweet cheeks that's all I needed to know. Wasn't too hard now was it?" Jack replied with a mocking tone.

He may as well have just gotten the idiot to sign his death warrant. That Robert bastard thought they could get away with attempted murder on him not once, but twice? And with relatively the same tactic? Now _that_ was an insult of the highest order. They didn't even _try_ to be a bit more creative on the kill. Honestly. Ending this sap's life would be doing them a favor. So he did just that.

Stupid wasn't even _hard_ to kill, yet they were trying to kill _him_? At least he made sure what he said to the other was true instead of the sorry sap that hired this sucker.

"Kept my promise didn't I cupcake? Not nearly as painful as ripping out your leg and making you watch your blood flow through the metal floorings. Pretty heroic ain't I?" he whispered to the newly made corpse.

"Inadequate lackeys the lot of them" Jack muttered to himself while kicking the cooling body on the floor with distaste.

Speaking of… He turned to get a better glimpse of the robotic armed and echo eyed man silently observing him a bit like a gaping fish.

Once a good kill was out of his system, he began to find some clarity on the situation. Time to find out who on Pandora thought they could end _him_ with a few measly interns and then deal with the train situation, missing money, stolen gear, explosion, bandits, including the updates for the _improved_ product.

At least the person in front of him was a sight he would gladly set eyes on, what with their mismatched blue and brown eyes with the brashly Hyperion yellow arm creating a lovely contrast.

"So, what exactly made dum dum behind me seem capable enough of taking matters into his own hands when it comes to the basis of what we do here?" he asked not bothering to hide exactly how pissed off he was at this display.

He scoffed a bit at the employee's clear nervousness in front of him and sighed internally to himself. He looked up when an unexpectedly deep and almost, _that bastard was smug wasn't he?_ Jack wanted to laugh as the thought, _probably cause he thinks he'll live another day and say he got to see me in action_ crossed his mind. _This one is interesting. Might keep him around for a bit._

"Not my jurisdiction sir. Why don't you ask the person who is in charge of the intern emails? Vasquez is his name? I certainly didn't receive one saying that I even had an intern to look after today."

Oh. So pretty here has _brains_. Finally. Someone that actually works _efficiently_ on this spaceship.

"Thanks, kitten. You seem to be the more competent of these pathetic workers. Mind showing me the way?" He asked while lazily shoving his laser gun back under the layers he held.

"Of course sir. Thank you. If you'll follow me."

Jack would be lying if he said he _didn't_ like the way the lanky man's lips worked around the word 'sir' while a small blush crept up to his ears. The view was quickly disrupted to show an even better one as the other turned on their heel with a practiced grace and speedily trekked down the hall. He felt a strange sensation curling near his abdomen as he watched the shapely legs continue their path in fitted corporate pants before him. Yeah he could get used to this.

He recognized the disturbingly familiar face that sat before him in the desk looking as much in awe as the cat that caught the canary. The only problem was remembering his name…

It wasn't until the raven haired man removed the coffee mug from his lips that the nickname bounced off of his lips.

"Wallethead! Long time no see! I trust that you're feeling much more accustomed to the paper here than in the mail room yeah? And those implants are really working for you! Can't tell anymore if there are a few cents still there with all this fuss about an intern telling me that there were revised codes for our newest product from a person who tried to kill the whole department! I might even consider keeping you up here instead of placing you in the old experiment batch with our skags that we are teaching to throw venom at order! That is of course if you would let Daddy know so this fiasco can be dealt with."

The sight of his seemingly smug demeanor disappeared as the last word left Jack's mouth in a growl. Both his hands quickly tapped the sides of the desk while his eyes widened and he got up, beginning to pace.

"Well you see Handsome Jack sir, the thing was... I was going to let this be a surprise, but I have located a vault key from one of my clients. I was planning on going to get it on Pandora and bring it back to Helios to show you once it was in my possession. But that seems to be redundant since you know about it now. Why don't you join me and we can pick up the key together there?"

"Yeah bad news for ya Wallets, as much as I would love to frolic in the sand with you and your posse, I do have many other more drastic things to attend to. One of such making sure the company runs properly for once in a godforsaken day. You can go though. Just bring-sorry kitten what was your name again?"

"R-Rhys sir."

"Right. Bring Rhysie over there with you. You seem to need the help since you failed to send an email to the department heads about the insignificant interns we need to bring into the hold of propaganda and a good working pay. He seems to have almost everything in order except for that dress fashion. Gotta say, stripes are slimming kid, but you're already a pile of bones with skin."

He caught another glance at the now furiously blushing security manager and smirked. The poor kid was too flustered to object. Perfect.

Two cents for a brain spoke in outrage at the denial.

"Handsome Jack sir, I do not think that he is appropriate company for Pandora. You yourself stated that he was only 'a pile of bones with skin' and that alone is not enough to weather the environment or the bandits we may encounter while there. Not to mention that we do not have the full cooperation of the group who have the vault key without someone official and we might have to pay more just to get it. So that it will take away from the company's profits."

The previously daydreaming cyborg was ripped out of his reverie at those words _and is he angry? Oh, he's learned to talk again… Figures, nothing can go his way today… Might as well tune in anyways..._

"... I have to say that while I may be completely capable of doing this, I also would like to say that we will not work well together as he is clearly demonstrating and he will only slow me down. Not to mention the fact that I have never even been to Pandora before. I don't see how I can be of help if I don't know the terrain and he is clearly not an adequately working employee! He was part of the reason that this whole mess even happened!"

Vazquez scoffed at the boy's display and retorted with a "Listen to the kid saying I'll slow _him_ down-he's not even completely human! He'll need a recharge every other hour with the tech that he's got on him it's so old! Not to mention that he hasn't spent time trying to get together buying a vault key- when was the last time an employee was able to hand deliver you one of those? How much more productive can you get if not for the sole purpose of this company? I can't possibly be the slow one here compared to Mister Rusty"

If Jack's side glare was thrown at the defiant man in front of him.

"And you dare to question the time warranty of Hyperion? The very company you work for? Who's asking to visit the little torture device we just upgraded in the holding cells now? You don't get the courtesy of an airlock anymore. You see, if you want fame and fortune-which I have _both_ already in abundance- then you can go on your little hunt for the vault, but don't leave an echo recording for me when your head gets chopped right off by one of the bandits there cause you didn't have backup. Hell-be my guest and actually let it happen to you! He may be a freakishly skinny man, but his robot arm gives quite the punch and since it is one of the first modules we made-the bulkier the better. It has our warranty of at least a decade if it needs repairs. Not to mention that beautiful echo eye. It's not just for show. Both cybernetics have the hyperion brand signal and colors-hell if he wanted he could project the whole friggin universe through his echo eye and arm. Even a bandit would have the brain cell capacity to recognize that much. Anyways, I have to go deal with more important things for the future of the company because of _your_ mess up costing us at least sixteen valuable employees. But I'm sure you'll set that straight so no one takes your job-won't you? You'll get a message on what utilities available to you from Meg in a few hours. Have fun Kiddos!"

He gallivanted out of the pathetic excuse of a room leaving two dumbfounded faces in his wake.

Once he entered his office, he pulled out his echo comm and typed in the familiar number from years ago. It picked up on the last ring.

"Hey sweetcheeks, I got a proposition for you."


End file.
